Monday: Reciprocity vs. transactional pitching & relationships in media and PR
Good morning!
Happy Monday!
Had a super fun Sunday night last night, as Lisa Gochman — a longtime subscriber of this Substack — but a PR friend I had never met outside of my subscriber Zooms and pitch emails — was in NYC from Houston for the weekend for Fancy Food Show and made a detour to Brooklyn to meet me for dinner.
We had the best time at a cute little Italian spot in my neighborhood and it absolutely set the week off on the right note.
It’s as I always say - there’s always a risk of the PR/media relationship feeling more transactional than anything else. But one way to avoid that? Take the time to make a connection and build a relationship outside of the give and take.
It’ll be rewarding in more ways than one.
But that gave me an idea for a topic to chat about today.
So, how do you know when your PR/media relationship is reciprocal vs. transactional?
Reciprocal: This is obvious, but does it feel like a relationship of mutual respect and give-and-take? Are both parties somehow contributing to the relationship, and is there a balance? This could be (of course) pitching and writing about those pitches, but also a relationship that includes a balance in the sense of support and resources. If it feels unbalanced, eventually someone’s going to fall right off that seesaw. And it’s going to hurt.
Transactional: OK, these are what a lot of PR/media relationships end up being and that’s fine as long as everyone is on the same page. It’s when the relationship is focused just on what one can do for the other. A specific exchange of services or goods, one of you is seeking something from other, and chances are you both feel the same way, and neither one of you is looking for an ongoing sense of community or support or friendship.
These terms may feel and even look pretty similar at times, but the difference is, with a reciprocal relationship, chances are a meaningful friendship and sense of trust will deepen over time. Transactional are, of course, more short-term, needs based, and situation based. When the client or beat or focus area or your outlets change…these are people you never hear from again because you are no longer of use to them. And, that, again, does hurt.
It’s important to remember that transactional relationships are very hollow and can only get you so far. Try to make this season of giving also one about creating more meaningful relationships, and here’s some tips to get started:
Not all relationships are 50/50, and that is also true in media and PR. But do your best to not just ask for something without also attempting to provide something in return. Of course that happens sometimes, but if it’s a pattern, no one is going to want to work with you. Transactions don’t get you very far in the long term. Your relationships with other people do. So, treat them well.
Remember that social media is at its heart relationship based. That’s why engagement is so important — it’s a return-on-relationship, not a return-on-salesmanship.
Pitching: We talk about this a lot, but we can instantly tell the difference between a relationship sort of pitch and a transactional sort of pitch. i.e. “Hi, Aly! Saw you did X this week, I did Y last week, was thinking of you and thought you might be interested in…” - tying it into my personal interests and things I have shared (which shows you are reading!).
Staying in touch: Those who are not transactional will send out an email to touch base even when they don’t need anything, or want anything from you, just to maintain the relationship, even if you can’t do anything for them in that moment of time…it shows they actually care about you and the relationship, beyond the next placement for their client.
Being a person, first. We’re in a really hard stretch of time right now, where a lot of people are struggling. Own that, and respect that.
Cometeer: Wildly Delicious Coffee, Ready in Seconds
When I first tried Cometeer, I was honestly shocked. This isn’t your average quick cup—it’s bold, smooth, and somehow tastes like a barista made it just for you.
(And by “barista,” I mean a fancy roaster with a PhD in flavor.)
Each capsule holds a concentrated shot of freshly brewed, flash-frozen coffee with the best beans from Onyx Coffee Lab, Counter Culture, Intelligentsia and more. To make it, combine the frozen puck with 6–8 oz of hot water for a strong, flavorful cup—or melt it and pour over ice and milk for a creamy iced latte. No machine. No mess. Just good coffee, fast.
Cometeer’s become my go-to for great coffee whether I’m on deadline or in transit. The capsules are TSA-approved, so you can make incredible coffee in hotel rooms, airport lounges, and even at 30,000 feet.
At just $2 a cup, it’s half the price of café drinks—and no weird syrups or oils. Plus, their subscription allows for rotating seasonal coffees, so your morning cup never gets boring. Mine is Intelligentsia Burundi Yandaro.
This isn’t instant coffee. It’s freshly, wildly delicious coffee in an instant.
Order Cometeer using THIS link for $30 off your first order (equivalent to 15 free cups). For further samples or press inquiries, reach out to Maria at maria.labriola@cometeer.com
Note: The above is a paid advertisement — but I’m very much a fan of this coffee — if you want to place your own ad, more details below!
Limited-time deal on ad placement!
I’m offering a seasonal special on advertising in this newsletter. I’d love to place your sponsored posts and advertising in this Substack, which goes out to nearly 10,000 media professionals every single day.
Note: I do limit advertising to only what would be of interest to my readers, but am open to both short paragraph blurbs and dedicated posts - if you are interested in chatting details and scheduling something, please email me at alywalansky@gmail.com today!
Tools of the trade
Looking to up your affiliate marketing game?: Affiliate marketing is complicated, and it seems that the landscape keeps changing. If you are looking to be prepared for gift guide season and all other shopping-related content, you may want to try the Ultimate Masterclass and Introduction to Affiliate Marketing for Publicists. It's a brilliant course and it'll answer all your questions (including some you didn't know you had!)
Press Hook is a platform that connects brands and agencies with journalists, making it easier to send samples, manage media outreach and get featured in press. It connects journalists and brands in what feels like a really user-friendly, organic way and I use it often to browse for sources and products aligned with my current projects and I’ve often found precisely what I need, when I need. Give it a try!
Newly published or freshly updated
Since people are often asking about the status of stories from a while ago, and I only share stories in this newsletter that were published or updated in the current week, I have created a list of my author pages at various publications to which I contribute. Bookmark it and make your life a bit easier.
Forbes.com: 7 Tea Martinis That Are Redefining Cocktail Culture
Southern Living: Can You Freeze Feta Cheese?
Yahoo.com: This passionate fruit is the signature flavor of summer
HerMoney: The Best Timing for Hotel Bookings: How To Save On Your Stay
Yahoo.com: Pickles are the latest hot trend to hit fast food
Apartment Therapy: 10 Things I Got Rid Of After 45
Apartment Therapy: Summer Packing Tips from People Who Travel for a Living
Clean Plates: 11 Best Seafood Picks at Trader Joe's, According to RDs
Travel & Leisure: 6 Best Business Travel Airplane Outfits, From $12
YourTango: Frequent Travelers Are More Likely To Succeed At Work Because They Share These 7 Traits, Experts Say
YourTango: 14 Budget-Friendly Home Upgrades That Instantly Transform Your Space, According To Experts
Travel & Leisure: I’m a Travel Writer, and This Seat Cushion Is My Secret to Arriving at Destinations Pain-free
Travel & Leisure: 13 Best Solo Travel Safety Devices on Amazon From $10
Travel & Leisure: I’m a Travel Writer, and I Swear by These Packable Ballet Flats for Comfort, Support, and Long Days on My Feet
Travel & Leisure: This Flight Attendant-approved Jumpsuit Is My Go-to Comfy Airplane Outfit — and It’s Only $25 Right Now$150 and Under
Travel & Leisure: I Found the Perfect Walking Shoes to Prevent Sore Feet During Travel — Score Styles on Sale Up to 62% Off
If you or your client are featured in any of these stories, I super appreciate any social media shares! Please remember to tag @alywalansky and the outlet.
Here’s what I’m working on:
Be sure to read the below list carefully. Many are stories I posted about yesterday, but some of yesterday's stories are no longer listed and a few new ones have been added since yesterday. This (below) is everything that is still a currently open opportunity as of today.
Please remember when pitching me: Email me at alywalansky@gmail.com - do NOT just hit reply on this newsletter, or there’s a good shot your email will be lost in the heap. Give your email a subject line that makes it clear which story you are pitching me for — it’ll help you in the long run.
Please consult my industry insights guides on submitting expert commentary, sending emails that will catch a journalist’s attention, how to craft pitches journalists will say ‘yes’ to, and the right and wrong way to submit photos, if you need any extra guidance before sending your pitches.
Yahoo
I’m working on a roundup of great travel-related deals to look out for for Amazon Prime sale days.
I’m also working on a roundup of must-have toiletries, beauty, hair, skin, and otherwise to keep as staples in your carryon when you travel. This, too, will have a first person element and there’s some of my faves I travel with non-stop that I’m absolutely including.
Forbes
National Fried Chicken Day, National French Fries Day, National Caviar Day, and National Mac and Cheese Day are coming soon.
I’m accepting pitches for fun and unique presentations of each (so not the basics please!), at restaurants/bars nationwide. To pitch me for any of these, please make sure your pitch includes ALL of the following.
Name of dish
Where found (so: restaurant name, city, state, URL)
Description of dish
Quote about what makes this presentation special (plus name and title of person being quoted)
Image of dish and appropriate photo credits
<3
aly
I just ordered some of the Cometeer coffee! I can't wait to try it!
Hahaha Lisa and I are longtime friends and sometimes work together. So great to see this photo!