Tuesday: The confidence gap. (Why the actual experts in their field always question themselves and everyone else does not.)
The most confident person I've met all week was my dental hygienist explaining journalism to me.
Good morning!
As I mentioned yesterday, I was at the dentist this week getting my teeth cleaned.
As one does during a dental cleaning, I was attempting to make small talk while someone had both hands and several instruments inside my mouth.
My hygienist asked what I do for work.
“I’m a writer,” I said.
“Oh, me too!” she replied.
Interesting.
“What do you write?” I asked.
She explained that she writes sci-fi fan fiction. Now, not to be an asshole, but as far as I’m concerned, fan fiction is to writing basically the same as being a member of a cover band is to being a songwriter.
Both may require creativity, effort, and skill. But absolutely not the same type. It’s not the same thing. I will die on that hill. But anyway, before I could ask any follow-up questions, she hit me with this: “Being a writer must be so easy these days when you can just push a button and have AI do it for you.”
I laughed. WAIT, WHAT?!
Or as close as I could to laughing with said instruments in my mouth. At least I think I laughed. It’s hard to know exactly what sound you make when your mouth is occupied.
But then I explained that journalists don’t actually use AI that way. The real ones, at least. MAYBE those who are writing sci-fi fan fiction do, but I wouldn’t know. The kind of writing I do? Absolutely not. Not whatsoever. Reported stories require interviews, fact-checking, sourcing, context, judgment, and actual reporting. And, actual writing. And actual creativity. And actual original thought. And actual voice that came from an actual person with actual thoughts.
She looked at me like I had just told her the moon was made of mozzarella.
Then she scoffed.
And because I was trapped in a reclining chair with limited ability to defend myself, I spent the rest of the cleaning thinking about something completely different:
Not AI (god help us, make it go away), and not journalism. And seriously obviously not fan fiction, which I haven’t considered actual writing since I passed through writing Buffy/Angel erotica 25 years ago, but really the concept of confidence.
Specifically, I was thinking about the fascinating difference between how experts think about their work versus how outsiders think about it.
I know a lot of writers, and almost every one of them suffers from some version of imposter syndrome. I suffer from EXTREME imposter syndrome every day, and just about all of us do. We wonder if the story is good enough. We wonder if the pitch is good enough. We worry that we missed something. We question whether another interview would have made it stronger. We rewrite headlines seventeen times. We stare at drafts we’ve already revised and think, “Maybe this is terrible.”
At least half of the time, we’re pretty sure we’re terrible at everything, and everyone hates us, and it’s all about to be over, and that’s kind of the point.
The more experienced someone becomes, the more aware they seem to be of everything they don’t know. Meanwhile, the most confident assessment of journalism I heard all week came from someone who doesn’t work in journalism, never has, and never will.
Honestly, I think this happens everywhere. A chef knows exactly how many things can go wrong in a kitchen. A publicist knows how much work goes into securing coverage. A photographer knows how much skill exists behind what looks like a simple image. A restaurateur knows how many moving parts are required to create a seamless dining experience.
The people closest to the work understand its complexity, the people furthest from it often assume it’s simple. The chef worries the sauce isn’t perfect. The journalist worries the story could be stronger. The publicist worries the pitch isn’t compelling enough.
The expert sees the thousand invisible decisions and everything that can and has gone wrong. The outsider sees the finished product. And when you only see the finished product, it all looks easy.
That’s actually one of the strange ironies of expertise: The better you become at something, the more effortless it appears to everyone else.
Nobody sees the years behind it, nobody sees the mistakes. Nobody sees the failed drafts, the rejected pitches, the missed opportunities, the stories that never came together, the campaigns that didn’t land.
They only see the final result.
So maybe imposter syndrome isn’t always evidence that you’re an imposter. Maybe it’s evidence that you understand how much goes into doing something well. And maybe the next time you’re feeling uncertain about your expertise, it’s worth remembering: Somewhere out there, someone who has never done your job is absolutely convinced it can be replaced by a button.
And somehow, they’re the confident one.
The less someone knows about a profession, the more likely they are to think it’s easy.
Which, if we’re being honest, is something we run into all the time.
“Can’t you just get me in the New York Times?”
“Can you make this go viral?”
“Why isn’t this story published yet?”
“Can’t AI write the pitch?”
The people asking those questions aren’t usually malicious. They just don’t understand how it works because they are not the one doing the job, we are. The chef sees the prep, the publicist sees the relationship-building, the journalist sees the reporting, the photographer sees the editing, the event planner sees the thousand tiny logistics. Everyone else just sees the finished plate.
The Older I Get, the More Suspicious I Am of Certainty
The smartest people I know tend to speak in probabilities.
“I think.”
“In my experience.”
“Usually.”
“It depends.”
Meanwhile, the people with the strongest opinions are often operating with the least information. Confidence and expertise are not always traveling together. In fact, they’re often not even in the same room. In the age of social media, everyone is suddenly an expert in journalism, PR, restaurants, medicine, travel, politics, marketing, and apparently artificial intelligence.
Yesterday, we talked about how things don’t always behave the way we’re told they’re supposed to. Baby teeth sometimes stick around for 40 years. But today, maybe we take that further: Experts don’t always look the way we’re told they’re supposed to. The real experts are often the ones still questioning themselves.
The people who think they’ve got it all figured out are frequently the ones who haven’t yet discovered how complicated the thing actually is.
Which I hope will ultimately be a more useful takeaway than '“my dental hygienist annoyed the heck out of me.”
Though, for the record, she absolutely did.
Job lead! Hamilton Beach Brands Inc. is hiring for an entry-level PR role. I love this team! They are so fun and lovely to work with, so apply if this is you or could be.
Book your consulting session!
I still have some space available the remainder of 2026!
I can join your team on Zoom, a phone call, or in-person and do a team Q&A and answer any of your questions about planning events, mailers, trips, pitching, followups, etc — giving you a very necessary media perspective. Email me at alywalansky@gmail.com if you are interested in chatting more and setting something up :)
We can switch it up in any way you or your team needs. While most of my calls do end up being virtual, I just did one where we did our session over a martini lunch! I’m available for whatever your team prefers. Lets chat.
Be sure to follow me on the Yahoo Creators platform. I’m writing a wide range of lifestyles topics: check out my author profile to see some of my most recent pieces! (This is updated daily - usually multiple times daily - so you’ll want to keep checking it out for new content!)
Limited-time deal on ad placement!
I’m offering a seasonal special on advertising in this newsletter. I’d love to place your sponsored posts and advertising in this Substack, which goes out to more than 10,000 media professionals every single day.
Note: I do limit advertising to only what would be of interest to my readers, but am open to both short paragraph blurbs and dedicated posts - if you are interested in chatting details and scheduling something, please email me at alywalansky@gmail.com today!
Tools of the Trade
It's June now and we're in the last weeks of dad/grad gift guide season, but holiday season is going to be here very soon. Now is when it's most crucial to hone our pitching skills and put our best effort forward. The Recipe for Press Media Directory is a one-stop resource for everything you need to do just that. It's an essential and affordable database aimed toward top editors, digital editors and freelance writers in home, food, fashion, travel, business and lifestyle. Founded by former editor and author Amy Flurry in 2014, the directory features emails, titles, active social media addresses, and a notes section with submission guidelines. It's created for people in the trenches by someone who knows how editors want to be pitched. This is why leading publicists, editors, and entrepreneurs across the country, including me, widely use and recommend it! Annual subscription price is $195.
I partnered with Pitchcraft to be able to share a special offer just for my readers: Use code ALY200: new users will get $200 off their first month of the monthly PR Membership or code ALY400: This one offers new users $400 off their first year of the annual PR Membership. This is a great network to join because it’s a community of both PR professionals and journalists working together to find better ways to work together and share opportunities, and you know how much I believe in all of that
Exciting news from our friend Sarah Karger (who you’ve seen as the star expert panelist for several of our gift guide pitching workshops!) - she launched her new course, Affiliate Marketing & Performance-Based PR for Publicists - It’s built specifically to help PR pros and agencies add affiliate management as a core capability, something we all know is completely essential in today’s media landscape.
Newly published or freshly updated
Since people are often asking about the status of stories from a while ago, and I only share stories in this newsletter that were published or updated in the current week, I have created a list of my author pages at various publications to which I contribute. Bookmark it and make your life a bit easier.
Yahoo Creators: Check out my author profile (I have several new stories a day across the lifestyles umbrella, so that’s the best way to stay updated!)
Food Network: 18 Food Deals and Freebies To Celebrate Dad This Father’s Day
Travel & Leisure: I Travel for Work, and These Are the 5 Genius Hacks That Save Me From Luggage Messes and Spills—From $4
Travel & Leisure: I’ve Been Solo Traveling for 25 Years—12 Mistakes That Cause the Biggest Headaches, and How to Prevent Them
Forbes.com: 20 Great Variations On The Classic Martini
Forbes.com: 15 Delicious Ways To Enjoy Sushi This Summer
Southern Living: I Tried Trader Joe’s New Marinated Mozzarella Balls—Now I’m Using Them In Nearly Every Meal
Southern Living: I’m A Travel Writer, And This Cruise Hack Gets Me An Empty Pool, No Buffet Lines, And A Better Vacation
Yahoo: Honor his spirit of adventure with 20 travel-centric Father’s Day gifts
Southern Living: I’ve Tried Every Way To Bake A Potato—This 1 Wins Every Time
Forbes.com: 15 Delicious Ways To Enjoy Lobster This Summer
Yahoo: 12 Father's Day gifts he'll love if his man cave is all about the music
Forbes.com: 7 Delicious Ways To Enjoy Falafel This Summer
Travel & Leisure: Travelers Swear by This Personal Safety Device
Southern Living: This Store-Bought Baked Beans Brand Was The Clear Favorite Among Southern Chefs.
Dining Out NY: Vegas is Taking Over New York, One Flashy Dinner at a Time
Southern Living: Can You Freeze Baked Beans Without Ruining The Texture?
Travel & Leisure: Frequent Fliers Say This Genius Hack Makes It Feel Like They’ve Upgraded Their Seat—and It’s Only $35
Travel & Leisure: I’m a Frequent Solo Traveler, and This Genius Safety Device Gives Me Peace of Mind in Every Airbnb
Food Network: 20 Restaurant Deals To Snag for Memorial Day
Southern Living: I’m A Travel Writer, And My Friends And I Are Obsessed With This App For Tracking Each Other’s Flights
Travel & Leisure: I Fly Around the Country for Work, and This Roomy Tote Is My No. 1 Airport Essential for Looking Put Together.
Travel & Leisure: I’m a Solo Traveler of 25 Years, and These Are the 18 Products I Swear By for Personal Safety in 2026
Travel & Leisure: Traveling Alone Can Be Expensive—Here Are 15 Budget-friendly Hacks That Save Me Money
Southern Living: The One-Pan Cheesy Meal I Make Whenever I'm Too Tired To Cook
If you or your client are featured in any of these stories, I super appreciate any social media shares! Please remember to tag @alywalansky and the outlet.
Here’s what I’m working on:
Be sure to read the below list carefully. Many are stories I posted about yesterday, but some of yesterday's stories are no longer listed and a few new ones have been added since yesterday. This (below) is everything that is still a currently open opportunity as of today.
Please remember when pitching me: Email me at alywalansky@gmail.com - do NOT just hit reply on this newsletter, or there’s a good shot your email will be lost in the heap. Give your email a subject line that makes it clear which story you are pitching me for — it’ll help you in the long run.
Please consult my industry insights guides on submitting expert commentary, sending emails that will catch a journalist’s attention, how to craft pitches journalists will say ‘yes’ to, and the right and wrong way to submit photos, if you need any extra guidance before sending your pitches.
Before pitching: Please be sure to refer to my photo submission guidelines for help with photo submission best practices!
Food Network
I’m rounding up chain restaurants and QSRs doing special freebies, deals, and discounts in honor of your birthday. Same format as my usual deals roundups (see a recent one here: 18 Food Deals and Freebies To Celebrate Dad This Father’s Day), just send me what the deal is, where it is valid, how to claim it, and any related images and social media links by EOD.
Southern Living
I’m working on a story on Mistakes Diners Make That Frustrate Restaurant Servers. I’d love some commentary from servers about things that people do that aren't helpful or slow down service or just plain get in the way.
I’d also love some commentary from southern chefs the one product they never leave Trader Joe’s without -- I’m adding the answers to my shopping list!
Newsweek Readers Choice
Some Newsweek Readers Choice Awards updates: This week, the AIRLINE TRAVEL nominations launched, and HOME GOODS winners were announced yesterday too (think mattresses, sheets, vacuums, air purifiers, etc). Stop by to see who won!
Meanwhile I’m working on nominations in the following new categories, so email me if your clients may be a potential fit so I can take a look.
TREAT YOURSELF
Best Massage Chain (e.g., Massage Envy, Hand & Stone, Elements Massage)
Best Ice Cream Chain (e.g., Cold Stone, Ben & Jerry’s, Salt & Straw)
Best Bakery Chain (e.g., Levain, Crumbl, Magnolia Bakery)
Best Pampering Product
Best Clean Beauty Brand
Best Beauty Retailer (e.g., Sephora, Ulta)
BRIGHT FUTURES
Best Supplemental Learning Program (e.g., Code Ninjas, Mad Science, Engineering for Kids)
Best Test Prep Provider (e.g., Princeton Review, Kaplan, Magoosh)
Best Language Learning App (e.g., Duolingo, Babbel, Rosetta Stone)
Best Online Tutoring for Students (e.g., Wyzant, Varsity Tutors, Preply)
Best Online Learning for Professionals (e.g., Coursera, MasterClass, LinkedIn Learning)
EAT YOUR HEART OUT
Best Chain Pizza (e.g., Domino’s, Papa John’s, Marco’s)
Best Chicken Chain (e.g., Chick-fil-A, Raising Cane’s, Popeyes)
Best Burger Chain (e.g., In-N-Out, Five Guys, Shake Shack)
Best Breakfast Chain (e.g., First Watch, IHOP, Cracker Barrel)
Forbes.com
It’s almost National Caviar Day and I’m looking for creative, interesting, delicious dishes or cocktails involving caviar.
To pitch, please include:
Name of drink/dish
description
quote from chef/bartender about dish (and name and title of person being quoted)
and LINK to image, with an identifying file name, and any appropriate photo credits included
(I know I give these guidelines over and over, but every day I get dozens of pitches that disregard them, so it bears repeating! <3)!
Email me at alywalansky@gmail.com asap please! All the same parameters will apply when emailing.
Yahoo Creators
I’ve published a handful of Father’s Day gift guides, but I’m still sourcing for final updates to these guides over the next few days. To pitch me for these, please be sure to include name of product, description, link to imagery, price, and retailer availability - even better if it’s available at Amazon or another major online retailer. If it’s available at several retailers, please share all the links. Leaning toward gadget, tech, office, travel, culinary wellness, and home gifts in these ones.
I’m also working on a roundup of the best places to eat at LGA, EWR, MSY and JFK. If you have anything to pitch me, send info my way :)
Thanks!
I always enjoy reading your Substack but this might be my favorite yet! “That’s actually one of the strange ironies of expertise: The better you become at something, the more effortless it appears to everyone else.” Wowwww. Thank you for these insights!