Monday: Here's how we can all get better at respecting boundaries in media/PR relationships

Remember: PR/media relationships are not meant to be transactional, and their foundation should be one of friendship and mutual respect.

Happy Monday!

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend. My Instagram friends probably saw I was cooking up a storm this weekend - we made homemade bagels and brownie hamantaschen for Purim brunch yesterday, and it was a super smash success. (Plus, brownies and hamantaschen are the mash-up of cookie dreams!), and now I have Chulent simmering in the slow cooker for the rest of today and plans to make this a really successful Monday.

(Hey, at least it’s no longer storming out there!)

This weekend’'s Industry Insights edition was about what you can do to avoid having a high email bounce rate. You can still check it out here. And for Southern Living, my piece on The Difference Between Chives And Green Onions is now live, as is a fun one for comfy shoe travelers: Travel & Leisure: Comfy Spring Shoes Are Up to 64% Off at Amazon This Week — Shop the 20 Best Deals for Travelers and for Food Network: Hostess Launches Meltamors, The First Snack It Explicitly Suggests Microwaving. Finally, for RetailMeNot: 20 Easter Sales That Shouldn’t Be Missed for 2024 — and much more below if you scroll down to that section!

For today’s newsletter, I wanted to touch on an issue that comes up pretty often - how we can be better at respecting each other’s boundaries. Remember, PR/media relationships are not meant to be transactional, and their foundation should be one of friendship and mutual respect. Doing any of these things can harm that balance and make it harder to maintain a productive relationship.

1. We're not the 7-11. We're not always open. I'm a big believer that it's totally fine to send emails any time you please. We always have the option to open or not open, answer or not answer. (True story: I OFTEN spend a weekend afternoon answering emails and scheduling them for Monday morning…it’s how I catch up and don’t fall behind.) But that doesn't mean all modes of communication are open at all times. If someone posts they are on their honeymoon, or on sick leave, or hell, even on a vacation (people do take those from time to time, I hear), it's probably not a great idea to call/text/DM them to make sure they got your email. And it’s also not OK to text someone on a random Sunday night following up on a story you pitched them…that’s what email scheduling is for.

2. People can set their own rules for their own boundaries. Maybe they don't like to be called after 7 pm. Maybe they don’t want to discuss work things on weekends. Maybe they don't like phone calls at all. Maybe they don't like pitching via text or DM and prefer it to be entirely email. If you don't know their boundaries, that's on them. But if they tell you what their boundaries are and you think those rules apply to everyone except you -- that's on you. 

I love to tell a story in my consulting sessions about that one time a publicist Instagram video chatted me at midnight to follow up. We were night midnight friends. We were not video chat friends. We were not, to be honest, friends at all - we’ve never met! Respect boundaries.

3. Respect the relationship in the way you'd respect any other interpersonal relationship. That means being honest and forthcoming. If you offer someone a first look or an exclusive, have that actually be the case. Writers have Google too and they can see if the exclusive you offered them was actually published by another outlet two days before.

Respect confidences, be honest, and be your most authentic self always — that’s always the way to get respect and honest in return.

4. No means no. Don't try to guilt people or manipulate a situation. If something is a no, it's a no. Move on, and there'll be a next time. We all have a thing where we think the measure of success is abundance, since so many of us have a scarcity mentality. But really, isn't it more doing the best we can, and putting our best self forward? Being our best, most authentic self, and getting our best, more authentic results? It's not about quantity, it's about quality.  We all need a more measured way of doing and reacting to things.

5. Communicate your goals and intentions clearly. This helps to avoid hurt feelings and misunderstandings, but also keeps things productive and professional. Our work is all about engaging with other people. But try to keep that engagement honest, positive, and productive. 

Communication is essential. If someone can no longer send the responses to interview questions we sent, let us know. Do not ghost. We have our own deadlines to meet. If we’re sitting around on a Sunday night waiting on a delivery you said was coming then…drop us a line and let us know it’s no longer coming before we spend all night waiting for no reason. If we have a phone call scheduled and your plans changed, let us know so we can amend our own schedule. Communication is, I’ll say it again, essential.

6. Respect the need to pace screen/video time. There's absolutely been a certain level of Zoom/video chat shaming the last few years. I am a huge supporter of virtual events, I have been since 2020 and now four years later, I still feel that way. But not every virtual event needs to involve all writers to be on camera - especially if it's more of a presentation format. Allow the grace of having a writer to decide whether or not they want to be on camera in that instance and don't shame them for their choice. And if you are having a discussion that in 2019 would have been an email or even a phone call, there's no need for it to be live on video on Zoom now. Not all of us are always in a position or space to be camera ready. We all need to be better at learning to read social cues.

7. Check in with one another. Respecting personal and professional boundaries is not a suggestion to not care about a person outside of the confines of the client or assignment or project. Follow up in a way that shows you care about them as a person and not just a means to an end. Rather than send a follow up "did you see my email about this sale on pizza dough?" Instead, perhaps say: "How is today going for you?"  Small gestures mean a lot.  And give each other grace. If someone needs to take an offline meeting online, or reschedule a meeting, or has an out of office reply, respect that. 

Knowing and respecting how someone prefers to communicate, what hours/days they work, is essential in any sort of business relationship — or personal one. Always treat people the way you hope to yourself be treated, and your relationship will benefit for it!

Grab the recording of our Mother’s Day Gift Guide AMA Zoom Event!

Thanks for attending our recent Mother’s Day Gift Guide AMA Zoom Event, cohosted by my dear friend and badass journalist Alice Dubin. We had a blast and a full house and dozens of amazing questions on everything from helping your pitch to stand out, to better email subject lines to followups and photo submission best practices and SO MUCH MORE. You can catch more information on what we covered and how to access the recording here.

So honored to see Muck Rack included me in their 2024 list of top ten most popular freelance journalists. Check out the list here.

gelsoandgrand

A post shared by @gelsoandgrand

In just about the coolest news that can happen to a girl who grew up in Brooklyn, there’s a pizza named after me! It’s inspired by my Dirty Aly martini and it’s at Gelso & Grand in Little Italy. Please go check it out and tell me what you think <3

Newly published or freshly updated

Since people are often asking about the status of stories from a while ago, and I only share stories in this newsletter that were published or updated in the current week, I have created a list of my author pages at various publications to which I contribute. Bookmark it and make your life a bit easier.

This list will live on my Substack URL and be updated as necessary. That way, you can see what I’m doing at any publication, at any time, from types of stories to general structure of stories to even volume and frequency of my content at that outlet.

This can also help you to target pitching a bit better. That makes your job easier, and mine too!

• Southern Living: The Difference Between Chives And Green Onions

• Forbes.com: Celebrate Purim With 10 Festive Cocktails And Dishes

• Travel & Leisure: Comfy Spring Shoes Are Up to 64% Off at Amazon This Week — Shop the 20 Best Deals for Travelers

• Food Network: Hostess Launches Meltamors, The First Snack It Explicitly Suggests Microwaving

• RetailMeNot: 20 Easter Sales That Shouldn’t Be Missed for 2024

• YourTango: 25 Cheap Spring Break Trips That Are Really Fun

• RetailMeNot: 20+ Stores Closed on Easter Sunday (and 20+ That Will Stay Open)

• Forbes.com: Patrick Mahomes And Travis Kelce Partner On Upscale Kansas City Steakhouse

• Forbes.com: Hop Over To These 11 Bars Nationwide To Try Their Fun Easter Cocktails

• Travel & Leisure: Zappos' St. Patrick's Day Sale Has Us Feeling Lucky — Hoka, Birkenstock, and More Are Up to 55% Off

• Food Network: Del Monte’s Newest Pineapple Is Made for One

• Forbes.com: The Settepani Rainbow Cookie Croissant Offers A Fresh Spin On A Dessert Classic

• Forbes.com: A Soup Made With Louis XIII Cognac May Be The Ultimate Luxury For Seafood Lovers

• Forbes.com: 10 Relaxing Nightcaps To Enjoy In Honor Of National Sleep Awareness Month

• RetailMeNot: Savings Star Origin Story: How I Learned to Eat Well (In NY!) On a Shoestring Budget

• Best Life: 11 Things You Should Put Away When Guests Come Over, Experts Say

• RetailMeNot: How to Save on Groceries: Tips That Actually Work

• RetailMeNot: Meal Prepping Products That Are Actually WORTH It

• Travel & Leisure: I’m a Travel Writer, and This Is My Secret to Packing for a Week in a Single Carry-on Bag

• Travel & Leisure: In-flight Theft Is Unfortunately a Thing, but These 12 Items Give Me Peace of Mind When I'm Traveling by Plane

If you or your client are featured in any of these stories, I super appreciate any social media shares! Please remember to tag @alywalansky and the outlet.

Here’s what I’m working on:

Be sure to read the below list carefully. Many are stories I posted about yesterday, but some of yesterday's stories are no longer listed and a few new ones have been added since yesterday. This (below) is everything that is still a currently open opportunity as of today.

Please remember when pitching me: Email me at alywalansky@gmail.com - do NOT just hit reply on this newsletter, or there’s a good shot your email will be lost in the heap. Give your email a subject line that makes it clear which story you are pitching me for — it’ll help you in the long run.

Please consult my industry insights guides on submitting expert commentary, sending emails that will catch a journalist’s attention, how to craft pitches journalists will say ‘yes’ to, and the right and wrong way to submit photos, if you need any extra guidance before sending your pitches.

RetailMeNot

How to Save on Food Delivery Apps: You may have picked up that everyone is noticing that food delivery is VERY expensive. What was a lifeline during the pandemic and then a habit has become a huge budget drain for many. But the reality is — sometimes you just have to order food delivery (maybe you're sick, maybe you want the convenience factor). So what steps can you take to make sure you save the most you can? So I’m looking for expert tips (actionable) on saving money on food delivery.

Budget shopping and cooking/eating smarter: As you all know, I write a lot of content for RMN related to budget shopping and cooking/eating smarter. I’m going to be working on a monthly column on the subject of cooking/eating well on a budget, and I’d love you to pitch me products/ideas to consider for it - maybe a new meal-stretching product that is a good deal at a grocery store, an awesome product to try that may cut my meal prep time in half, other themes as far as saving money on food/cooking/eating and doing it in a way that is smarter.

Looking to up your affiliate marketing game?

Affiliate marketing is complicated, and it seems that the landscape keeps changing. If you are looking to be prepared for gift guide season and all other shopping-related content, you may want to try the Ultimate Masterclass and Introduction to Affiliate Marketing for Publicists. It's a brilliant course and it'll answer all your questions (including some you didn't know you had!)

Virtual (and now in-person!) consulting sessions...

Looking for a consult as you plan your next event or trip? Or just want someone to take a look at the pitches you’ve been sending and give some feedback? I’m available for PR team virtual meetings to answer questions about pitching, events, and trips from a media perspective.  Note: I’m also available to travel for consulting sessions as long as travel expenses are covered. We can chat! This is available for entire agencies or smaller group lunch and learn type concepts.

<3

aly